How to be a Teabagger: A response to “How to be an OWS protester”

Posted on November 6, 2011 by


The Socialist Agenda received an alert that the facsist Neuezeitgeist wrote an opinion piece on the type of person that participates in the Occupy Wall Street (OWS) movement. The article is an unremarkable construct that spews the same generalizations normally heard from within the Teabag coalition. Insomuch as the Socialist Agenda was alerted to the article, there must be, to some degree, an interest within the socialist community to read a socialist response to capitalist criticism against the OWS movement. Consequently, the Socialist Agenda decided to write an In-Kind article for publication over the weekend.

How to be a Teabagger:

  • First, do not go to college. Be an anti-intellectual. Refuse to acknowledge that there is anything worthwhile in pursing an education. Use confirmation bias to support your argument. Argue Bill Gates dropped out of college, and look at what happen to him. Point to the fact that Albert Einstein struggled in school, and look at his contributions. Ignore the fact that high-paid corporate executives nearly universally have college degrees. In addition, ignore the fact that many of the state and national politicians have graduate degree in Law.

  • Second, believe in the Myth of Hard Work, which was expressed in German as Arbeit macht frei, which translates as – “work makes (one) free.” In other words, “work liberates.” Reject the socioeconomic data that shows  – Not every member of society can sit at the top of the social hierarchy. Insist that people only fail because they did not try hard enough. Reject the mathematical certainty – Upper level positions are overpaid only because people in lower rung jobs are underpaid. Insist that the upper level personnel are somehow more deserving of wealth than are people on the lower rungs. Reject the statistical evidence showing – Overpaid, top level executives lacked the insight to realize that their decisions were moving America to the brink of economic collapse; that past corporate growth was not a result of executive insight. Statistics show corporate growth was in natural pace with a growing economy; individual executive decisions did not actually contribute to corporate growth.
  • Third, join the Cult of Famous Men. Be so enamored by those who made it rich that you defend their economic interests instead of your own. Ignore the fact that you actually work for a living; so you should embrace the politics of the working class to defend yourself and your peers. Demand lower taxes on the super rich and support government austerity measures that eliminate your own entitlements. Without any credible evidence whatsoever, be seduced by the notion that you will miraculously become Rich & Famous by supporting the right of corporations to extract ever increasing amounts of wealth away from you and your family. Ignore the reality that lower taxes encourage hoarding among the wealthy elite while higher taxes encourage spreading wealth among the employees.

(For the uneducated teabaggers that do not understand advanced concepts, let’s restate that one: From 1933-1962 America’s top marginal tax rate was more than 90%. In short, the government took nearly all the excess wealth from those who earned more than $250,000 per year. The corporate leaders had a choice: Give the profits to the employees or give the profits to the government to fund programs for the underpaid employees. It was easier to spread the profits among the employees; so a strong middle class grew as a result. When Ronald Reagan substantially lowered taxes, the corporate executives had an incentive to hoard. So, wages were suppressed and costs of benefit packages were transferred  over to the suppressed wages of the employees. Most middle-class families today are slipping into the low-income range.)

  • Fourth, join a mega-church. Celebrate wealth as the ultimate measure of Faith. Ignore the true teaching of your Christian doctrine – wealth corrupts. And, embrace the anti-Christian belief that your God will reward your faithfulness with the very thing he teaches you to avoid. The anti-Christ already came. His deception was so complete that the entire church failed to recognize him. But, his Anti-Christian doctrine of glorifying wealth has taken control of the Church. There are no Christians left today. There are only Anti-Christians – people who think they’re Christians but really are not. This not only explains the Christian’s insatiable appetite for more wealth, it explains his lack of compassion for the many who are being denied opportunities to succeed, and his open hostility towards those in the OWS movement (a true Christian would not denigrate the less fortunate).

Additional Cooments:

An old Moody Blues song pointed out that people, on average, have just 22,000 days of life. Science has shown life was a natural and inevitable chemical response. All life on earth comes from a common origin. Life has evolved into the complexity seen today. And, Man has no eternal soul that separates him from any other life form. The universe is not the creation of some magical being that revealed itself to a desert nomad 6,000 years ago.

This paradigm that people should endure hardships imposed upon them by the top 1% is no longer valid. Enduring such socioeconomic hardships does not guarantee entrance into a fantasy realm. And, those who impose the hardships are not destined to an eternal damnation. The myth upon which capitalism was accepted has been disproved. And, the younger generations demand greater fairness.

  • Give equal access to opportunities – education, jobs, promotions, etc.
  • Give equitable wages to every employee as a contributor to corporate profits.
  • Give a property interest to every employee for the time and effort invested in helping the organization grow.
  • Give everyone an equal opportunity to enjoy their limited existence. Leisure should not be exclusive to a limited few that skim profits away from those who were not allowed to move up the hierarchy.

People have, on average, 22,000 days of life. How far are you through yours? What have you done to appreciate the limited existence?

There are many older occupiers in the OWS movement that have realized their lives were squandered by hard work; and in the end, they have not been given anything of value to justify the sacrifice they made for society. And, there are many youthful occupiers who do not want to be oppressed or exploited.

The OWS movement still does believe in the Myth of Hard Work; they simply refuse to give their efforts on credit for a promised return on their investment in a magical life to come. Occupiers want to work; but they expect their reward now so they can enjoy their 22,000 days.

Posted in: General Interest